Throughout November, I (tried to) write a diary entry every day. It was kind of my personal NaNoWriMo, although I definitely never wrote 1500 words and got only 22 entries out of 30 days. I don’t even know what NaNoWriMo stands for.
Anyways, I’m not going to upload all of them cause some are fairly boring, but here are a few from the fourth week.
Time passes by slowly during lockdown. I woke up so late today (9.26), I did quite a bit of work and watched two episodes of a series and still it’s only 7PM. It’s good, in a way, in normal times I would never even consider watching a series. In normal times I thought people who watch series lost control of their life (to say it with Karl Lagerfeld), but as we all know, ‘normal’ is paused for an indefinite amount of time.
I’m swimming in time. I’ve got so much time on my hands I don’t even know what to do with it. (That’s not quite true, I just like talking nonsense.)
If I could only give all of that time to someone who has better use for it than I do. All of this time… what a waste. What is there to do in 24 hours? I’d be fine with 20, or 15. Seven for sleeping, three for work, two for cooking, one for reading, two at free disposal. I’m disposing of my time, throwing it around like the great Gatsby did with money, only my parties aren’t that glamorous (they mostly consist of cooking and falling asleep watching midnight gospel).
If there was, like, a place where I could donate my time, like the old clothes container downstairs next to garbage tons, if there was a place like that, that said:
‘drop your excess time here. Please make sure it’s clean and in good condition. To protect it from rain and dirt, it is best to put it into a plastic or paper bag before. Thank you for your time!’,
and I could just open the flap, and toss my time into the dark container, bang, and it’s gone, I’d be like yeah totally sign me up take the next three hours and actually tomorrow afternoon too oh and last Saturday as well please that was a terrible day, I’ll come again tomorrow, I’ll be here basically every day, sorry? No that’s not a big deal at all, just go ahead I’ve collected way too much of that stuff over time, I gotta declutter you know, we all should, I feel so relieved now that the day is reduced to its relevant functions, anyways, you sure you’re okay now? I think I still have some minutes to spare, just let me know if you need any more…
I’m basically the Genghis Khan of time.
Every morning I open my eyes and look across the vast lands at my feet: the morning hours, bright and early, a river flowing gently into the big lake of midday right in the center of my kingdom. There, in the corner, I see a couple moments twirling around like little birds, and afar the vast grasslands of the afternoon hours stretch from North to South, from East to West. The evening is hardly in sight, but I can tell it’s lavishly spread out across the horizon, and its time will come with the turn of the day. Turning around, I see the long and dark night hours like a blanket, suffocating every color, every movement, every sound.
Time is everywhere. I live in times of affluence. A good once so precious, is turning into an everyday commodity, and not before long will it become a burden. Like the Mongol Empire, my kingdom will expand and grow, until I’ll be incapable to rule all of it, and it will crumble, decay, collapse, and I will tumble and fall and be left with nothing in my hands, and I will wonder, where did all the time go?
Enough talking nonsense.
I’ve gifted too much time to this screen today, and now I want to set my eyes on the darkness that has fallen outside. I have just been outside today to pick up a package, I have maybe done like a five hundred steps today, and for the rest of the day I sat crouched in front of my laptop. I don’t think that’s very healthy. I should get some fresh air, I should buy something for dinner. I should give my laptop a rest (it’s run pretty hot, all of that typing and streaming must be pretty exhausting, I guess). It’s fine. It’s only 20:13. There’s plenty of time for everything I need to do.
The longer I do the diary, the harder it gets to keep up with writing every day. Well but I didn’t expect to last that long at all, so I’m pretty satisfied with how it’s going. And I do have a good excuse for not writing yesterday – my laptop ran so hot that the charger freakin‘ melted in the charge plug (!! What the heck) so I suddenly smelled burned plastic and shut the laptop down as fast as I could, and so I couldn’t write.
There was a big cloud outside my window this morning that parted the sky just in half, blue and white. Like a huge grey blanket it covered everything to my left, while the sky to the right shone pale blue. Over the day, it slowly made way for the deep and blue sky. It was just like someone pulled the curtains, minute by minute, to let in the sunshine (oh man that’s the best song by this Hippie band called the 5th Dimension, what a name! The 5th Dimension. I think it’s so cool.).
In the late afternoon I decided to go for a walk. My flatmate gave me the premise to bring back something beautiful or practical, and having this task in my mind totally changed my perception of my walk. I noticed how the colors in the sky – light blue, pink, white, orange – reflected on the water, the wet walkways, the windows. It was such a contrast against the dark trees stretching their naked arms into the cold air, against the ochre, pine green and brown leaves and bushes. Lights on balconies and lamps in living rooms gloomed warm in the falling darkness, and soon they reflected on the dark, still water. A church tower rose high into the sky, and although I am by no means a religious person, I was moved by the simple beauty of the scene in front my eyes.
I found a flower with red petals by the side of the rode and decided to take it back for my house mate when I got back, but by then it was already gone. He said I’d lost the game and would get no points consequently. Nevertheless, his girlfriend had bought cake while I was gone, so we had coffee and cake at 6PM, and that was my dinner. The day had already started with a piece of apple crumble this morning, and I think days that start and end with cake are good days.